Peaking the horizon

When we go through trauma, our life becomes shattered.

Feel that, embrace it, allow yourself to understand that we are humans. We are all fucked up somehow. Sometimes we lose ourselves on the path to healing. We experience the feeling of void, blackness, and emptiness. Everyone goes through it.

Don’t let it consume your life. It will trigger addiction, leave you feeling depressed, and allow you to become someone you’re not.

Life has its ways of showing you where you need to grow. Who am I to tell you what you need to heal through life? I am no one. I am just sharing my viewpoints from experience. I lost people in life due to my not loving who I was.

I struggle with addiction. I have an extremely addictive personality. I don’t know any social norms, and some might even think I lack emotion in how I respond to them.  I view life as if it’s nothing but a big game. Don’t do that.

During some pivotal moments in my life, I started to understand how fragile time is. Time doesn’t wait on anyone, and life doesn’t stop because you are having a bad day.

Whenever I reach the peak, I fall back down, scared to stand tall, thinking the past is who I am, allowing myself to remain stuck in low vibrations, never seeing past the horizon.

I started to hold back in how I feel, losing the ability to express what is going on from the inside out. Why do I fear standing out? Am I scared for someone to notice my potential or am I scared of myself seeing my own potential?

“Yo, what’s that scar on your head?”

I can either tell them the full story or I can tell them I was in a gang fight. Either way, both options won’t make sense. So I stopped answering. People want to know the pain you go through so that they can either A) feel for you or B) Be happy that what they are going through isn’t as bad as what you went through. Regardless of any outcome of any situation, there is always going to be a lack of understanding when it comes to experience. Not everyone understands what pain is, my pain isn’t the same pain as your pain. Pain is the root of the feeling but the experience behind the pain is different. I may react differently to what I feel pain is. That doesn’t mean my pain is less than your pain. Pain is pain.

It doesn’t matter where you stand; someone is always going to stand taller, regardless of how you view it. Learn how to let go of this idea of thinking that you know it all.

Experience leads us to beliefs. “Practical contact with and observation of facts or events.” That is the meaning of an experience. Each word has a sense, meaning it creates a moment in time, moments in time develop beliefs. The more we seem to understand, the more we notice that life is meaningless. I didn’t mean to offend you in telling you that your life has no meaning. Life on the grand scale has no meaning; the moments in them are the meanings we create for ourselves.

On the real though, pause for a second, ask yourself this question? Are your thoughts yours? Or is someone else controlling your thoughts?

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