Falling Into Place

Sometimes, I need to remind myself who the fuck I am.

When thing falls short, we don’t stop fighting. Everything that happens is happening for a reason.

Life has stimulated a lot of obstacles my way; things happen along the way people are hurt, and they cut you, it is a part of life. You cut people because you are hurt. Give yourself credit that you are alive, you are human.

Seeing my parents grow old, and seeing my mom have so much faith in God makes me jealous. She’s never alone I feel alone at times, It doesn’t mean I’m lonely; I say that most haven’t walked in my shoes that seen pain as elegantly as I have.

No cancer didn’t kill me; nothing will kill me because a part of me died, the part that was fearful of holding onto life so hard, allowing it to dictate who I am.

Who am I?

Who are you?

What is this thing we call life?

As a child, having been molested, I didn’t hit me until the person died. I don’t know what I feel towards it, not much to control when there is nothing to control. Details, no need because it’s not a part of the story of who I am today.

We meet new people from many different shapes of life from which we either grow or stay the same. We can’t live life looking for meaning on why we hurt. Why did I survive cancer? Why did I survive drug addiction? Why did I survive being molested?

I don’t have the answers; I do know that where I am right now is where I need to be for myself and my growth. The same goes for you, where you are where you need to be for yourself.

We all fuck up, learn from it, move past it, and heal. Why allow the things that almost killed you kill you. Forgive yourself and let go of the hurt; your actions aren’t who you are. We allow things the label us making live by the label on the surface masking the insides as if they didn’t exist.

Growing up, we learn patterns. Sometimes in life, we win; however, we also lose. Losing doesn’t mean we can’t ever win again; winning doesn’t mean we can’t lose.

I’ve been threw hell and back; sometimes, I like being in hell; that’s when I feel the most. That’s when life is bright and full of beauty. Be uncomfortable in the unknown that’s when you know the best.

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